Don't worry about the past and don't try to figure out the future
Quoted by Garrison Keillor
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Quoted by Garrison Keillor
Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.
Quoted by Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
Quoted by Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Quoted by Garrison Keillor
Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
Quoted by Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Quoted by Garrison Keillor
March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
Quoted by Garrison Keillor