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Jon Stewart Quotes

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Free time is death to the anxious, and thank goodness I don't have any of it right now.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?

Quoted by Jon Stewart

The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

Evil is relatively rare; ignorance is epidemic.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

Democrats always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.

Quoted by Jon Stewart