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Joke Quotes

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You are where your brain is but not where a front-page headline is.

Quoted by Santosh Kalwar

Like so much of what she said about herself, it was both a joke and not a joke.

Quoted by Veronica Roth

We think we like or love some people until we see them regularly.

Quoted by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.

Quoted by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

When he smiles it's as if you'd just told him the first joke on earth.

Quoted by Mitch Albom

Well, enough of this introspection. It's depressing, quite frankly.

Quoted by Sol Luckman

The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.

Quoted by G.K. Chesterton

My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die.

Quoted by Tommy Tran

What do you call a rifle with three barrels? A trifle.

Quoted by Joseph Rosenbloom

I never stopped joking around long enough to realize you weren't laughing anymore.

Quoted by Alexandra Potter

Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

Quoted by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

For with dandies, a joke is the only way of making yourself respected.

Quoted by Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly

She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.

Quoted by Matshona Dhliwayo

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.

Quoted by Jon Stewart

It was no secret joke that brought the smile and the sparkle in his eye, it was physics.

Quoted by Feynman Richard

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

Quoted by Tommy Cooper

Thanks to bad graphic design, some readers love only the electronic version of some books.

Quoted by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

My girlfriend and I just had make-up sex. We both wore make-up.

Quoted by Randy Kagan

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Quoted by Oliver Oliver Reed

Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

Quoted by Oliver Oliver Reed